FACADE STAGEPLAY Thu Jul 07 18 46 19 2005 TRIP Where are the new wine glasses? GRACE What for? TRIP That should be obvious! GRACE Oh God, Trip, don't turn this into a big production, please! TRIP Jesus Grace, come on, I'm not asking a lot here! GRACE What -- Trip, don't give me that look! (Brad knocks on the front door.) (Brad knocks on the front door.) GRACE You're going to drive me crazy! -- (interrupted) TRIP Uhp, he's here! GRACE What?! You said he's coming an hour from now! TRIP No, he's supposed to be here now! GRACE Trip...! (Brad knocks on the front door.) (Brad knocks on the front door.) (Trip opens the front door.) BRAD Hi, Trip! Good to see you! TRIP Brad!! (BRAD hugs trip.) TRIP Hey! It's been too long, man! -- (interrupted) BRAD How are you? TRIP Yeah, hi! TRIP Wow, it's really really great to see you. TRIP Well come on in! GRACE No, no, here we are! BRAD I love the apartment. GRACE Brad, BRAD Hi, Grace! GRACE Hi! How are you? Oh god it's been such a long time! -- (interrupted) GRACE H-mmm (happy smile sound) GRACE And, I've got to say, you look really good! BRAD Thanks. GRACE Aw, ha ha ha! GRACE Brad, seeing you again makes me remember the wonderful times we all used to have. H-mmm (happy smile sound) (Trip closes the front door.) BRAD Seems like you're doing well. GRACE Oh, well, we've -- we've missed you. TRIP Hey, I just realized something. GRACE What... TRIP We have to celebrate! Tonight's a special night! GRACE What do you mean? TRIP Brad, remember, it was almost exactly ten years ago, tonight, that you introduced us. TRIP Senior year of college! BRAD Yes! BRAD Let's have drinks. TRIP We really want to thank you for -- (interrupted) TRIP Oh, yeah, let me fix us all some drinks in a sec! TRIP Good news, I just fully loaded the bar, with the real quality stuff... only the best for my guests. GRACE Well... it didn't take long for you two to... bond, or whatever... BRAD Grace, are you okay? TRIP So! Drinks! TRIP So, what's your poison? BRAD What do you have? TRIP How about a martini? BRAD Sounds good. TRIP Perfect! GRACE No no, GRACE Brad, maybe you'd like some juice, or a mineral water? TRIP Oh come on... BRAD I'd like alcohol, actually. TRIP Uh, well, you know what, I'm just going to make you a martini. GRACE No no, GRACE Brad, maybe you'd like some juice, or a mineral water? TRIP Oh come on... BRAD A martini sounds like a good idea. TRIP Oh yeah, that's even better! TRIP Okay! Good! I'll just whip up these bad boys real quick! TRIP (quiet humming) GRACE (little sigh) Trip has always been partial to winning his friends over by way of the mixed drink. TRIP Wait, what did you say? GRACE (clears throat) BRAD I like him anyway. TRIP Huh, oh, well -- GRACE Ah it's good to see you two getting along so well. TRIP (clears throat) BRAD How have you been doing, Grace? GRACE What do you... No, we're fine, I'm fine, everything's fine... GRACE (clears throat) TRIP In terms of drinks... TRIP What do you say Grace, skip the Chardonnay and join us in a genuine drink for once? TRIP Grace, I know what you want, but I'll ask anyway... what would you like to drink? GRACE I'm not in the mood to drink tonight. GRACE I don't want anything. TRIP Nothing? TRIP Okay. -- (interrupted) BRAD Okay, just us then, Trip. (BRAD picks up a player's drink.) TRIP Alright, here you go! BRAD Thanks. (BRAD sips his player's drink.) BRAD This is a good drink. TRIP Oh, Brad, -- (interrupted) (BRAD sips his player's drink.) GRACE Okay, okay, this is getting really tiresome...! GRACE You know what, I'll be right back. TRIP Grace, what are you -- GRACE No you two keep talking about the bar and drinks and the amazing view and everything... TRIP What? Where are you going? GRACE I'll just be in the kitchen. BRAD What's going on? BRAD Is everything okay, Trip? TRIP (frustrated sigh) BRAD Is there any way I can help? TRIP Um, uh, Grace, sw - sweetie pie, could you -- TRIP could you bring out some of that prosciutto, you know, that we served at our last party? TRIP Grace, uh, has a passion for hors doeurves, uh... uh... If -- if it fits on a cracker, Grace will put it there. (BRAD sips his player's drink.) (BRAD sips his player's drink.) TRIP Uhh... boy... (BRAD sips his player's drink.) (BRAD puts down a player's drink.) BRAD Excuse me. TRIP I -- I hope you don't think... mmm... there's... there's nothing... heh... -- (interrupted) TRIP Wait, -- (interrupted) (BRAD enters kitchen) GRACE What? Oh... BRAD Grace, are you okay? GRACE Look, what you've said, tonight, I know what you're getting at... GRACE that we... Trip and I... we aren't... we can't... BRAD Are there problems with you two? GRACE You came in here to tell me this? Uhh... (GRACE exits kitchen) (BRAD exits kitchen) GRACE Everything's fine, Trip, everything's fine. TRIP Yeah, yeah, everything's fine! GRACE You know, ever since we got married, Trip is forever trying to get me to buy new furniture, and redecorate, (Trip sips his Trip's drink.) GRACE and -- and it's true, I kind of enjoy it but... TRIP Well, yeah, it's great, everybody loves it when they come in and see our latest decoration scheme! GRACE But, Brad, you have to look at this room, and admit it looks terrible. TRIP Grace -- BRAD I like the one you have now. TRIP No no, no no, see, Grace loves expensive furniture, she... TRIP grew up in this really nice house, with really nice couches and fancy dishes, and, and she can't live without this stuff. GRACE So, about my decorating... GRACE You know at work I waste all day designing ads for stylish objects, like this picture perfect wedding picture... GRACE and then it makes me think, I want to design it into my apartment... TRIP It's the first thing everyone notices when they come in. BRAD I actually noticed the couch. GRACE Yeah I just had to have this damn couch... BRAD It's a nice couch. TRIP Ah, yeah, Brad, I knew you'd like it. TRIP See Grace you don't realize how good this all looks -- and, and how good you look! GRACE (annoyed sigh) GRACE (little sigh) So I just had to have this couch... GRACE but, dammit, it's wrong, it's all wrong, I should have chosen a modest, simple love seat! TRIP A little love seat... what? BRAD It doesn't matter, Grace. TRIP Well, you have to appreciate how after a full day's work designing magazine ads, Grace can find the time to redecorate -- GRACE I want to throw it all out, get rid of everything, and throw paint all over the walls... TRIP (annoyed sigh) BRAD Let's get off the subject. TRIP uh... ha heh heh... GRACE uh...! TRIP god, I don't, um... BRAD So, I see you like sculptures. TRIP well... GRACE uuh...! TRIP ha ha... (BRAD picks up a trinket 6.) GRACE ha ha... TRIP ha ha ha! GRACE ha ha ha ha!! BRAD This is a nice one. TRIP Ha ha ha, heh, Brad, GRACE heh heh heh... TRIP heh heh, you had me going there for a sec... TRIP heh, ha ha... BRAD What is this? TRIP You're not afraid to say anything, are you? TRIP push our little buttons... (BRAD puts down a trinket 6.) TRIP heh heh, you're crazy, you know that? TRIP heh, ha ha... TRIP (big sigh) TRIP Anyway... what were we talking about, heh? GRACE Uhh, you are impossible...! GRACE I'm never happy... GRACE Trip, our whole marriage, you're so... controlling! TRIP (little impatient sigh) Brad, can you believe this? -- (interrupted) BRAD Trip? What's she saying? GRACE What, what's that, what are you saying? TRIP Goddamn... cussing... TRIP Grace, I -- I just want to be together, and be happy, can you just see that? GRACE Oh, yeah, yeah, right! TRIP Can't we just do that? GRACE Your goddamn drinks.... GRACE Trip, all this stuff you do, you're just trying to make us look like we're some kind of perfect happy couple! Like we're so happy! TRIP Oh, god...! GRACE Okay, you know what, Brad, GRACE I need to ask you something. TRIP Grace -- GRACE Trip, let me ask our guest a question. GRACE Brad, yes or no... BRAD Ask away. GRACE Isn't it right for one person in a marriage to expose when the other person is acting fake? TRIP What? BRAD Yes, I think so. GRACE If someone is not being their real self, -- (interrupted) TRIP What...?! TRIP Oh, okay... sure... TRIP Uhh, You think you're better than me, Grace! You had this rich upbringing... and now you look down on me! How am I supposed to be happy like that Grace? Goddammit! GRACE Oh, my God...! GRACE Uhh! Yeah, good, go away! GRACE I can't stand you! GRACE Goddammit! BRAD Try marraige counseling. GRACE What are you saying? What? TRIP What? Are you talking about me in there? GRACE What do you care? BRAD I think you can fix this, Grace. TRIP Brad, in what you said before, about letting things go... I think that tells us something about Grace. GRACE Oh, so we're talking about me, are we? TRIP What? BRAD What do you mean, Trip? TRIP Grace, we don't -- we don't have to do this... things are okay, we can just -- GRACE Brad, I can't stand the pretending anymore... I can't take it! BRAD Then don't pretend. TRIP Aha! GRACE Brad, you're saying I'm lying? TRIP See, Grace, you exaggerate, you pretend you're more unhappy than you actually are, just to make things seem worse! GRACE What? Oh my God. GRACE Brad, that's what you think? BRAD No, I think you're unhappy. TRIP Aha! GRACE you're saying I'm... depressed? BRAD You said so yourself. TRIP No, Grace, c'mon... I'm here... I'm here for you, goddammit...! GRACE Trip, I'm tired of pretending that I'm happy... I can't do it anymore... BRAD Then don't, Grace. TRIP Look, let's not focus on just me or you, let's talk about us both. GRACE You know, I... uhh... I really don't have anyone to talk to... TRIP Grace...! GRACE Heh, my so-called 'friends', they're just jealous of us, if you can believe -- (interrupted) BRAD Talk to me. GRACE Oh, Brad, look, I know you're trying to help, but right now we just need get this all out in the open... BRAD Okay, get it out. TRIP No we need -- we need to talk about us both, not just one. GRACE I think... I think... Trip and I are drifting... I'm afraid we're becoming... disconnected... TRIP Grace! What are you saying? GRACE It's like I don't know who you are anymore. BRAD Well, what can you do to connect? GRACE What? GRACE Ah, yes, that helps us. TRIP What!? Grace, I'm right here. I'm the -- I'm the same person I've... I've... always been... TRIP Okay, I'm sick of this bullshit!! TRIP Brad, I know what you're hinting at... TRIP about us... TRIP about our lifestyle... TRIP Do you really want the truth? Huh? BRAD Okay, say it. TRIP Grace, huh? GRACE Yes...! TRIP Brad, see I've actually been paying close attention to what you've been saying. TRIP You've really been pushing me tonight. BRAD Sorry. TRIP And I wonder, are you really my friend or not. GRACE Trip! BRAD I'd like to help. TRIP Brad, Quit interrupting me, let me finish! TRIP Brad, come on -- yes or no... TRIP Do you really think that... TRIP praising me... TRIP praising Grace... TRIP acting inappropriately to me... TRIP saying that Grace is depressed... TRIP and worst of all, TRIP saying that Grace is lying... TRIP but especially what you said about bringing up bad things from the past... TRIP that all that is supposed to help us realize something about us? TRIP Is what you've said tonight supposed to add up somehow, to something? TRIP Is it? Just give me a yes or no. BRAD Yes. You need to fix things. TRIP Alright. TRIP Grace... TRIP uhh... BRAD Work things out. TRIP See... I'm... ashamed of my parents. GRACE What!? Your parents are great. GRACE I love seeing them... TRIP I know, I know. But compared to yours... they're so ... ignorant. GRACE But they're real. I hate how my parents are pretending to be something -- TRIP I've tried hard to be like your family -- GRACE Trip... really? ... I don't -- TRIP But I feel like a phony. I feel like I can never get rid of my past. BRAD Trip, it's okay. TRIP It's kind of like I don't know who I am anymore. TRIP uhh... GRACE uhh... BRAD Grace can help you figure that out GRACE Oh my God...! TRIP Brad, I -- GRACE I'm going to give you the truth too, Trip. TRIP What?! GRACE Trip... GRACE uhh... GRACE In college... I was in love with someone else. TRIP What?! GRACE An art major, named Vince. TRIP An art major named Vince -- GRACE And... GRACE And I slept with him. TRIP Y -- y -- you what? GRACE The night before you proposed to me. GRACE I jinxed our marriage, Trip. GRACE I jinxed it. I'm sorry. GRACE This is all my fault. BRAD No you didn't, Grace. It's okay. TRIP Uhh... huhh... ho... wow... uhh... TRIP Uhh... I'm glad you finally told me. BRAD That was 10 years ago, Grace. TRIP Jesus...! TRIP Okay, Brad, Grace, I have one more thing to say... GRACE Again?! TRIP Grace... TRIP uhh... TRIP I'm -- I'm just... af -- afraid of... of being poor. GRACE Poor? Trip, we have so much! What do you -- TRIP It never feels like enough! TRIP As a kid... it -- it was... My family was always on the edge. GRACE So you weren't rich, but -- TRIP We even spent six months in a shelter once. GRACE Oh my God...! TRIP All of this stuff... TRIP Is a kind of protection from that ever happening again. TRIP uhh... GRACE uhh... GRACE Oh my God...! GRACE This changes everything... TRIP Yeah. TRIP You feel like you ruined everything from the start... GRACE You... you're terribly afraid of being poor. TRIP You -- you think I'm a phony for despising my upbringing... GRACE But at least you had a real upbringing, it's me who had a fake one... TRIP Brad, I -- GRACE Brad, we... TRIP Look, uh, we need to talk... GRACE Yeah. TRIP Brad, Thanks for coming over, you... I think you helped us. BRAD You're welcome, guys. (BRAD hugs grace.) (Trip opens the front door.) TRIP And no, Brad, you don't need to say anything more... BRAD I'm glad you're staying together. GRACE And no, Brad, please, it's okay... (BRAD hugs grace.) BRAD Goodbye. BRAD Take care of yourself. (BRAD hugs trip.) BRAD Bye, GRACE Bye. Thanks. (BRAD points to the elevator button.) (BRAD points to the elevator button.) (Trip closes the front door.)